Quit Hitting Yourself

As Rocky once said, “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows”.   This is the quotes I hear in my head whenever I have a bad day.  It’s tough out there and sometimes it feels like nothing is going your way.

Being someone that has always view herself as a “Rocky type person” I feel it’s important to finish the statement…

“…. It’s about how hard ya get hit and keep moving forward”. (Yes, that’s where my tattoo comes from) 

But what if you’re the one beating yourself up? It’s not always the outside world that is throwing the punches.  Some times we are terrible to ourselves!  How do we stop beating ourselves up and keep moving forward in life?

 

That’s a question I’ve asked myself. 

 

I have struggled with anxiety most of my life.  At times I’ve had to pull the car over because an anxiety attack was making me short of breath.  Or I break down and crying in the parking lot, because I was so stressed.  What was I so stressed about?  Like most people I was stressed about the things I “perceive” to be true, but in the real world has not happen yet and may never.  So how do you, did I stop my mental punches?

 

I got out of my head-

I don’t know the scientific numbers but for me 95% of the time I am thinking in terms of the worst case scenario.  If you have read any books about the brain this happens because of our fight or flight response.  It’s a good thing to have fight or flight because most of the time it keeps us alive.  But unfortunately our brain and hormones produced to enact fight or flight doesn’t know the differences between that checking my alarm for a second time before bed and being chased by a tiger.  Have you ever walk out of the house without your phone! Ya… that flush of CRAP! SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN AND I DON’T HAVE MY PHONE.  But most likely nothing will happen. To get out of my head I’ve had to practice telling myself  “It will be ok” “You are ok” “The world will not end if ______ happens”.   

 

-I can only control the controllable. 

There’s a great story of the night before I won my IFPA Pro card. The ph levels of my body had turned my tan to a green color.  My girlfriends was shocked when I didn’t lose my mind about it.  At that time I knew there was nothing I could do about it.  I had hired a woman who had been doing tans for years so I had to trust she would make it work.  She did. 🙂

So what are some things we can control? Not a whole lot… that it’s self might send people into an anxiety attack, but it can also give you freedom. (Let’s of a check list) 😉  The other thing you control is yourself.  As I said above, once you get a handle of your thoughts you will then have control over your emotions, reactions, and physical being. 

The main thing I “worry” about is money.  But after I break it down, I can’t worry about that… You might be wondering why? Well, I can’t control if a client has to stop working with me, or if a new bill comes up.  What I can control is how hard I work to get clients and help them reach their goals or how many jobs I work. (I would work at Burger King if I needed to)

I am not a pro at this yet, but I am much better than I was years ago… month ago…. even a week ago.

 

-Be Present –  

This is something that has clicked for me this pass year.  Being stressed is worrying about things that have not happen.  I was spending so much time in the future that I wasn’t enjoying my present.  I have my client AJ and my husband to thank for helping me with this!  Because I am in control of how hard I work, I never stopped working… barely taking a day off… which lead me to burn out, making me cranky.  Even though I had left work for the night, I was still checking my emails and messages.  I have been so focused/ worried about getting out of debut so my husband and I could buy a house that I was missing sending time with him in the moment.  I’ve started to leave my phone at home when we go out together.  Because it’s not just about being next to him but also giving him my attention when I am there. Again, this is still something I am working on but every day is a little better.

AJ challenged me to be present in my every day life.  What does that mean? An example would be when you are walking in the grocery store… do you see the people around you? Do you smell the different scents? Can you hear the different sounds? 

This was a tough for me because:

1- I always run in and out of stores… because I’m trying to get so many things done in a day. 

2- I normally listen to a podcast, radio show, or music when I’m out to get the most “insight” I can.

3- I’m thinking about 5 things at once, so when one thing gets checked off my mental list it jumps to the next thing.

 

Leading up to doing this, (the hour of our session) I had anxiety about it all.  But once I gave up and took on the challenge I found I was at piece.  My headache I’ve had for weeks what away.  I wasn’t thinking about my to-do list.  I was just there in the moment.  

Try it…

 

-Meditate

I know here comes Hippie Kristy… But it really does work.  You don’t have to sit cross legged and say OMMMM.  You can just take a couple mins (normally I do it when I’m heating up my food) and take 20 deep breaths.  Just doing that will relax you mind and body, which will make you ready for whatever it is you are about to do.  I’ve been really found it helpful to do it  before going into work and before bed.  I feel it helps me get into the right frame of mind to achieve the goals I have for that day, and helps me relax after the day is done.

 

What is it that you are beating yourself up about? Talk yourself through it.  Make a plan to do something.  Get over it! Keep Moving Forward. 

 

 

 

Tips for Healthy Eating on Vacation

Cousin Eddie: I don’t know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don’t you, Clark?

Clark: You’re the gourmet around here, Eddie.

 

(sigh) Vacation! For “normal” people it’s a welcomed time.  But what if you’re someone that is on a healthy eating plan? If you are one of these people, like myself, you have 3 options:

A) Say SCREW it! I’m on vacation… LET ME EAT CAKE! ALLLLLLLLLL THE CAKE!

B) Zip yourself in your tent and yell, “I’m not coming out until all the smore’s are gone!” pouting.

C) Find YOUR balance! I say YOUR balance because your balance may be different than mine.

As most of you know (because it’s all I talked about for 2 weeks) I was on vacation/ honeymoon last week.   If you know me you know, I picked C.   Below is how I found my balance.  I hope this helps you if you’re heading out for vacation.

 

1. Make a game plan.

When I was in training for a show last year I had a trip planned to Chicago for St. Patrick’s day.   If you haven’t been to Chicago for St. Patrick’s day… It’s one of those bucket list thing.  If you go take me! 🙂

On that trip I knew I was going to drink, so I knew I had to workout and eat right.  I set a limit to my drinks that weekend and made sure I got a hour workout in every morning.  I even made protein pancakes for everyone. 🙂

I also packed food in a carry on cooler in baggies so I knew I would have the right proteins, carbs, and fats in my day.  Yes, You can bring cooked and packaged food like tuna packs on a plane.  A tip… don’t eat super stinky things… the rest of the plane will thank you.

 

2. Offer to do the shopping.

This vacation was one of the longest I’ve ever taken.  Because of that I wanted to make sure I had all the things I knew I needed to fit into my eating habits.

After I spoke to everyone that was planning on staying at the lakehouse for the week (about allergies, specially diets, likes/dislikes) I made a loose game plan for lunches and dinners, with a protein and veggie at each…. Some where special nights like going out.  For breakfast I brought gluten free oats and eggs.   (Below is a list of what I planned/happened that week. )

I had to buy for about 6 grown people for 6 days… which could have been a lot but we shopped deal and  Minnesota Meg (everyone needs a nickname in a blog) and I hit the Portland Farmer’s market.  It was amazing!!!  We got so many  fresh and locally grown veggies!

farmers market

We could have pick up meat there too but it was a little pricey.  We planned on everyone eating about 4-6 oz per(average) lunch and dinner.  So the next stop was Hannaford (local grocery store) for  gluten free, no nitrate deli turkey, ham, and hot dogs.  As well as chicken and burgers.

The funny moment (for us at least) was when I asked Minnesota Meg for help picking out some bread for the people that eat it…. (blank stare at each other) Neither of us could name the last time we pick out or ate bread…. as our friend J said… #healthypeopleproblems. ha.

 

3.  Start with a good breakfast.

I knew I was getting my carbs in… (they are up right now because of my new goals) So I planned for mostly protein and fats in the AM.  When you’re on vacation it’s easy to eat carbs, but the protein might be tough.  I had 1 protein cake with fruit and the rest of the time I had a eggs, some shredded cheese, greek yogurt, and a few blueberries.

breakfast

 

4. K.I.S.S.

Over this vacation I learned I loved cooking for everyone.  I am no Julia Child, but I enjoyed putting it all together and severing the meal.  I know some of you are thinking… cooking for other people is not a vacation… But I kept it simple… no one died and everyone seemed to like it… or they are good liars… I’m not sure.  The point is if you aren’t a fancy cook don’t worry about it, get an idea of what people want to eat and make it they healthiest you can.

 

5. Keep your drinks in check

It is no secret I love wine.  This was my “let loose” thing.  I had a few glasses a day but I never passed the “drunk” mark.  I also made sure for every glass of wine I had, I have a 8 oz of water.  Remember it’s vacation… not college.  You want to enjoy your vacation, not spend it recovering from a hangover all day.

 

6. Don’t give in to food bullies.

They are out there.  The people that will say things to you about your healthy eating habits… in a teasing or rude way.  DON’T GIVE IN TO THEIR INSECURITIES.  Remember what I said at the start of this… It’s YOUR balance… not theirs.  They don’t have the goals you have…. They might feel uneasy because they see you eating healthy and they realize they aren’t.  They may not ever understand why you are doing what you are doing.  They don’t need to.  It’s your goal.  They don’t have to stand in front of judges in a little bikini, have heart issues, Or deal with getting sick from eating something your body is allergic to (lactose, wheat, corn, tomatoes… ya my mom is deathly allergic).

On the flip side- don’t be a crazy dieter- refrain from telling people what they should or shouldn’t be eating.   If they ask, you questions you can tell them, but remind them that you aren’t a nutrition coach, RN, or Doctor (unless you are, but even then you don’t know what’s going on in there body until you get a mental and habit history). Also, don’t give people the stink eye or drool on them if they are eating a bun!

 

7. Step away from the cake.

Funny enough there was no cake… Just GIANT BLOWPOPS!

blowpop

But there where smore’s.  The week total of smore’s I ate… 4.  It’s not great… But I’m ok with it for me it was all about balancing a healthy weight and a healthier life.  If I was in a show prep would I have ate this like this no.  But that’s why I started this with MY and YOUR.  Maybe it will help to see that even a Coach/ Trainer/Bikini Pro is human too! 🙂

Keep Moving Forward.

 

 

Meals on Vacation:

Saturday- L- Chicken, veggies, sweet potato fries (Thanks Minnesota Meg they where great) D- Out

Sunday- THE LECONTE CELEBRATION (all day event) I planned on having 2 different meal plans for the “normal” people and my “show/gym” people. 

Normal people- Burgers, Hot Dogs, BBQ Chicken, my mother-in-laws orzo salad (it was good… yes I had some!) and chicken/penne/ broccoli salad. 

Show/ gym people- Chicken with Mrs. Dash, asparagus, broccoli slaw without the dressing, mixed greens salad,  (tomatoes and dressing on the side),  Jasmine rice.

What did I eat? – a Cheese Burger without the bun, salad, and 1/3 cup of the orzo! I know it’s not gluten free but it was still good.

Monday- BOSTON DAY- L- Minnesota Meg and I headed down to cross something off the bucket list! WALHBURGERS! I had the MELT it was tasty! D- lobster roll (yup with the bun)  (2 bread products in one day… I lived)

Tuesday- Friday L turkey, ham,  or chicken for everyone

Tuesday D- burger for the guys/ chicken, veggies,  rice for Abby Road and myself. 

Wed- D THE FRONT ROOM… Which is the Leconte’s favorite date night spot. ( I had steak and veggies)

Thursday- What it means to be from Maine- Seafood.  Lobster and Mussels and corn on the grill.

Friday- Special request for Pat’s Pizza from Mez. (I had 2 pieces)

 

The Why behind it….

why

 

Ok friends, this is one of those deep post.  Surprise, Surprise.

I’ll try to keep it short and not ramble to much.  But knowing me that’s not likely.

When was the last time you stopped and though about WHY you do or don’t do things?  Here are some examples:

Why are you do what you do for a living?

Why do you eat pizza instead of chicken?

Why do you react when your loved ones says or does X?

Why did you start this journey to your goal?

 

WHY? WHY? WHY?

 

My clients may think that this is my favorite thing to say.  When they are having a problem staying on track, the first thing I ask them is WHYWhy are you not staying on your path to your goal?  Why haven’t you started that goal? Why are you doing this in the first place?

I don’t just do this to you.  I’m  always asking myself why…  Here’s a few of my WHY’s

Why was I so scared to start this blog?

I didn’t want people to think I wasn’t “smart”…. when I spell or read I miss things, (you may notice a few here and there) and I don’t use the right grammar.  I write like I speak.

When you do something like this you are putting yourself out there for people to judge you.  Being judge is never fun… but whether you are in 5” clear heel, writing a blog, or walking down the street it’s going to happen.  It’s out of your control what people think or say about you.  I’m learning to have a thicker shell when it comes to this.  Also, I’m not trying to change people’s thoughts as much anymore.  (a work in progress).

 

Why do I eat the way I eat?

(Good)- without sugar coating… it’s so much cheaper to cook 95% of my meal for the week, then to buy it on the go.  I’m on the go a lot.  I schedule myself with 10 min buffers, so if there’s a line at Taco Bell and I needed to eat I would be screwed.  (I use to love Crunchwrap Supremes).

And of course it’s healthier to eat a stuffed pepper with quinoa, which helps me feel better.

(Bad)- Because yes even I get lazy and emotional…. There’s days that I want to say “F this. F you, and you.. you’re cool”  I just want to open a bottle of wine, throw a pizza in the oven, and sit down to do nothing.  I’m happy to say there are less of these days than in the past (because I ask the why) but I’m still working always being “strong”.  If I don’t “stay strong/ on my path”  I’m not going to reach my goals…. and that’s what it’s about.

 

Why I do what I do for a living?

This is not an easy job.  It’s going to sound like I’m complaning or saying poor me… and to you maybe I am, but anyways- My pay is never set, (some months higher some lower).  It’s long hours up early and in bed later.  I’m responsible for people’s goals… but I’m only in control of it for the x hour(s) I see or talk to them…. which me lead to being blamed if they don’t see results. (I know it’s not my fault… but some people still try to say it’s the trainers fault… yada yada yada).

It’s not a long list of negatives, but WHY am I still a personal trainer after 9 years?

Because when you watch someone walk through the WHYs of their life and they put the pieces together… that my friends is the most amazing and inspiring thing to witness.

Stepping on stage.  Having more self-confidences.  Having a better relationship with their loved ones. Doing a Pull up.  Getting out of bed without pain. It’s all things that lead to them having a more fulfilling life… and I was there to help move them forward.

 

To put a nice little bow on this… My challenge to you: Ask yourself  WHY are you doing the things you do day in and day out?  No matter what the topic…..

Be honest with yourself… (this can be hard) but once you stop and ask that why you can then take the next step to being and doing what you always wanted.  Stop holding yourself back from your greatness.

 

Keep Moving Forward.

 

FYI- I will be on vacation next week so there will not be a blog.  Work a little more on this topic! Let me know what you find out about your WHY.  I love to hear these things.