5 Tips To Achieve ANY GOAL.

I know I’m not alone in this but I have a crap ton of goals… At least 1 in each area of my life.

Self- Mediate everyday.

Body- Maintenance a healthy body weight.

Mind-  Read 1 new article a day.

Family- Put the phone away on Wednesday.

Business- Help at least 2 new people a week.

Financial- Save and buy a house in a year.

Friends/social- email/ text/ call friends once a month to check in with them. (I know this doesn’t seem like a lot but it’s realistic).

Ok, now you know my goals lets get to the meat and potatoes of this blog…

5 Tips that will help you achieve any goal! Whether it’s your fitness, life, or business goal all these tips can be appealed to each area. These tips are not something I made up, but come from the great Tom Robbins and the Female Entrepreneur Association.

1. Turn your SHOULDs into MUSTs

My mind is always going with ideas or thoughts that I need to do (example the list above).  Just a tip about me… if I’m not saying anything it’s because I’m thinking about 5 things I want/ need to do.

So often we say “I should workout”, “I should save x amount each paycheck” “I should call that friend” but we don’t. I have found two things happen… either you fill yourself with things you don’t need to do to evolved that  SHOULD or you just put it off thinking you can do it later.

This is one of my “works in progress things”.  I over think about my “to do” which creates anxiety.  What do I do to stop this?  I take action! When you do that SHOULD it’s like a rocket that pushes you forward into your goals.

This is a little sad, but think about it these way… If you knew you were going to die in 6 month would you have any more SHOULD or would they be DONES???  We think later will be a better time or we are so scared about what will happen if we actually achieve our goals… OR that we will fall flat on our faces, so we  do nothing. We need to stop being stuck By SHOULDs and be motivated by MUST.

What’s on your SHOULD list? (leave a comment) We’ll be accountable together.

2.  DON’T LISTEN TO THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD

How do we stop our OWN limiting believes… When you have Negative thoughts it’s because you think what you can accomplish and your goal are on different levels.  It’s our fear of X that is stopping us.  An example from me was this blog: Not being able to read or spell is a challenge… and I know the blogs aren’t  perfect… Every time I write a blog I worry about the spell and grammar but the fact of the matter is if the point gets to you then that’s a win.

So how do I get over the self doubt? I write out my fears or speak them to my support system.  When you make your fears or your “shortcomings” known they have less power over you.

Remember success is 80% mental and 20% actions.  Stop getting in our own way… YOU can do anything…

Take a moment to think of the most amazing thing you thing of… The light bulb, AIRPLANES, living a balanced life (Yes, that is just as amazing to me as a 300,000 lb machine flying in the air) and of course yoga pants! 🙂

The people that  dreamed of these things believed their goals could be real! They failed many times, but they kept pushing forward until they accomplished their dream.  Yes, money, time, and not knowing where to start, were all things that stood in their way.  But once they deiced to take action they BELIEVED they would achieve greatness.

positive

3. Get in control of your emotions

Ok, you started your goals… along this path you hit your obstacles.  An example of this is Show prep.  When you have a goal it is not going to be happen:

1- Over night.

2- In a straight line.

There is going to be physical and mental ups and downs.  The faster you can shake your self out of the low moments the easier the journey will be.  It goes hand and hand with the tip above.  If you listen to your own negative self talk you will  be dragged down. If you let your emotions control you instead of you controlling your emotions you will be a victim of “feeling” instead of “doing”.  This will make it hard to do the things that “should” be done… see how it all comes together.

 

4. Find someone that has achieved what want to do!

If you want to the next Sherly Sandberg, step one would be find out how she became “Sherly Sandberg”.  DO YOUR RESEARCH! Facebook, email, listen to their podcast.  These people paved the way for other to follow.  It is not a sign of weakness to ask questions.  It a sign of intelligence and a drive to want more.  One of my favorite sayings, “You don’t have to reinvent the wheel… but you can add your own rims”.

If there is no one out there doing what you want to do, look up success for people in different areas.  Success is success… meaning the action you take is what will lead you to the end goal.

5. Be Grateful

When you are grateful for what is going on in your life it’s very hard to be negative.  My challenge to you is every day write down or at least think of 1-3 things you are grateful for.  This tip alone has helped me flip my “poor me days” around.

A few weeks ago I was in a bad spot mentally, with this tip in mind I sent a message to people who have been in my life at different stages and thanked them/ told them how grateful I was to have them in my life.  The messages I got back where so empowering, it took me out of my funk.  With less negative moments I am able to be a better person for the people in my life. Which in the end is really the success I’m looking for.

 

Keep moving forward!

Their success is not your failure.

I saw this amazing quotes last week:

success

Of course I thought right away of my upcoming competition.

In my sport I develop friendships with people that I stand next to… in a bikini…. and get judged on who has the better body… Ya! It can be a dangerous slope in to “hater mode”.

Even the most security person creeps on other competitor’s Facebook or Instagram and thinks… “damn… she has great (fill in the blank)…”  Then start to think less of your (fill in the blank).

For those that don’t do shows-  Here’s your world:

“Oh looking like Betty got a new car” or

“Frank is got a promotion” or

“Peg and Al are buying a BETTER house” …

Then you make the grumpy cat face…..

It’s human nature to want to be the best! We are wired for the “survivor of the fittest”.  Sure, there are some of us are more alpha people and may beat our chest a little more,  but we all want to be good, feel good, prove we can… the list goes on.

Whether your gut reaction is I NEED TO WIN AND THEY NEED TO LOSE! OR THEY ARE GOING TO WIN SO I WILL LOSE….  this isn’t Game of thrones!  If someone wins, doesn’t mean you lose.   So how do we play nice in the sandbox and not become green eyed monsters?

First, I think you need to be good with yourself.  If your parents pulled a Beverly Goldberg (if you don’t know who Beverly Goldberg is you are missing one of the best show on tv… THE GOLDBERGS) and told you, you were the best at everything… they lied There will always be someone better than you.  THAT’S OK! The real question is ARE YOU BETTER THAT YOU WHERE YESTERDAY? (Yesterday could be a day, a month, or years ago)… my point is ARE YOU MOVING FORWARD IN YOUR LIFE?

Next, it’s weird but try being happy for someone else… Even if they are your arch rival… and if they are a bad person.  I know, I know it’s not an easy thing to do, but you get nothing out of thinking negative thoughts about them.  Some people (hippies like me) think that if you send will-wishes to those negative people, you will have  better experiences with them.

But what about the people you care about… Are you a bad person if you get a kick to the gut when things go right for them and not you? I say, only if you stay in grump cat mode! SNAP OUT OF IT! THIS IS SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT.  Yes, it stinks when you don’t get everything you want but that doesn’t mean no one should get it.  If you care about someone you want them to be happy! Put your ego aside for the night and celebrate your loved one.  If you can let go of yourself just enough… it might bring you both closer.

As I’m about to step on stage with some of the BEST BODIES I’ve seen, I’ve had to remind myself that no matter what happens… everyone up there worked their ass off… and we all have things we are worried about.  But we shouldn’t worry about the person next to us. That person is more like you (me) than we know, and they have some of the same fears… So instead of adding to the list of things to worry about why don’t we celebrate our sisterhood! Step on stage, let our swagger shine, and celebrate all that we have accomplished with a spoon FULL of peanut butter!

 

Cheer ladies! I am honored and thankful to share the stage with you…. Sure I want to bring some cash money home with me… but that’s second to the friendships and moments I get to share with you… Plus there’s no taxes on that!

 

Keep Moving Forward!

I was once a Mean Girl.

It’s True.  I was once a Mean Girl.  No, I didn’t have a burn book. I wasn’t the most popular girl.  And I didn’t try to make “Fetch” a thing.  But I was was insecure, mad, and depressed. 

Fetch

 

As a kid I was made fun of a lot. (bare with me, this isn’t a sober story) I had a very loving family.  Even though we didn’t have money ALL my family always found away to give me things… like Starter Jacket (Chicago Bulls & Supersonic) SO COOL I know.  And yes I wish I still had them! 

If you read my first blog you know I wasn’t a great student.  I was also short, scrawny, and a huge tomboy that was just athletic enough to be on the team but was never the star.  (Ok, I was good at track… and defense in lacrosse).  So you can see where my mind was… I was always striving to prove that I could be prettier, smarter, and all round better. 

Because I never felt good enough I was very defensive and reactive.  My number #1 go to defense was to say something to make you feel as bad as you made me feel.  I had been called “Bitchy” a few times… in the past. They were right.  I was not happy with myself and didn’t want anyone else to know it or to shine light on it. 

What changed? 

After a bad break up it all come to head.  I wanted to blame everyone else for “picking on me” or doing things “to” me.  It was THE POOR KRISTY SHOW.  A few weeks of drowning my feeling in wine I said enough was enough.  I reread a book I said I read in College… The 7 habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey.

In his book, Stephen R. Covery talks about switching your paradigm.  What’s is a paradigm?  The short answer is they way you see things.  You’re paradigm changes as you “growth”.  Here are his 3 phases of growth:

  1. Dependence: the paradigm under which we are born, relying upon others to take care of us.
  2. Independence: the paradigm under which we can make our own decisions and take care of ourselves.
  3. Interdependence: the paradigm under which we cooperate to achieve something that cannot be achieved independently.

As a kid, we believe what we are told… whether it’s from our parents, friends, and community leaders.  We don’t know that if we are unhappy or if we are insecure about something that we can work to change it (like my reading/writing).  Or we that we will learn to love what is “different” about ourselves.  Unfortunately, I shouldn’t use the word “kid” because there are still some MEAN WOMEN/MEN out there. These people are still in phase 1 as growth ups.  Or they are in phase 2 where It’s the ME show. 

 

So, how did I (and do you) growth out of the first 2 phases? 

 

I had to work on ME, and not the shell I showed people … as Stephen says “Inside-Out”.  If you are insecure about something deal with it. I know it sounds harsh, but there’s no sugar coating it.  WE ALL HAVE ISSUES! Stop trying to hide your own by pointing out other peoples. 

squirrel

 

It wont be easy at first, but by making myself better I have made my relationships and career better.  Know it doesn’t have to be a big public thing (like I chose to) but you have to start understanding what makes you you… and use that!  Heck, I’m writing this blog… if I was scared of what negative people might say I might miss out on helping that 1 person that needed to read this today.

 

 

 

 

In Summary:

STOP BEGIN A MEAN WOMAN/ MAN.  Keep your eyes on your own paper and work on your “self” assignment.  I promise it’s a much better life when you step out of the shadows of your fears.

Also, IF YOU WERE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE I WAS REACTIVE TO, I AM VERY SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I SAID IN THE PAST.  I’m still not perfect but every day I try better.

– Keep Moving Forward.

My first blog.

A little about me…

Well, this blog is one of my “bucket list” things, and for some reason it’s more frightening than standing on stage in a bikini and heels.  (I’ll get to that). Why is it so scary? I grew up not knowing how to read or spell.  When I was in the 5th grade they told my parents I had a learning disability, but didn’t know how to teach me.  I don’t blame any teachers or my family for my learning issues.  I think I was to young to know HOW I was able to learn.  I was really good at taking test.  I always knew the stuff but I was unable to commucate what I knew because I didn’t know how to write it down. I went through the rest of my school years as an average student. It wasn’t until college when I realized why I was so good at taking test.

I learned that I did know words that someone told me or read to me,  we’ll use the word “ten”  for this explain.  I was able to remember what “ten” sounded like, so when I saw bigger words with the word “ten” in it I knew what that part sounded like and would then piece the rest of the word together from the rest of the sentence.  I could use the word “Sentence” but because I am a personal trainer I will use “extension”.  I knew what “ex” sounded like, and I had seen “sion” before, so they all come together!  You can image how long it took me to study for Human Anatomy and Physiology I and II. ha 🙂

After learning HOW I able to learn, things got a lot easier.  I graduated college with a 3.3 GPA with a double major and a minor.  I still make a lot of mistakes when I type, spell, and as you can already tell some grammar things.   But for the past two years I have wanted to build a blog and website that I would be able to share my life with people more than I through Facebook and Instagram.

As I said above I am a Personal Trainer.  My job is to help people overcome their fears of failure, embarrassment, and even success daily. I have not been facing my biggest fear until today.  Why is this such a big deal to me? I’m fearful that I will look “stupid” or “unprofessional” or that because I have a tough time reading that I don’t know what it takes to me a great trainer or coach.  But I am doing it today to show people you don’t have to be perfect to face your fears! Just take it one step at a time… before you know it you will be looking back at that obstacle or fear with new energy! You (and I) can accomplish anything you are willing to stand up against! 🙂 So Fear of writing this blog is now over with! 🙂 YAAAA! HAHA

 

What FEAR is holding you back from the live you want to life? Or how did you overcome that fear?